A man suspected his wife was seeing another man.
So, he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report
any activities while he was gone.
A few days later, he received this report:
MOST HONORABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE
I WATCH HOUSE
HE COME TO HOUSE.
I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE.
I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE.
I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE.
SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE.
SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE.
SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
NO FEE,
CHEN LEE.
Showing posts with label Chain Mail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chain Mail. Show all posts
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Women Golfer ( laugh aloud )
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
"Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your
wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers : Please scroll down..
...
...
. ..
...
...
...
....
...
..
...
...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Tell this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
"Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your
wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers : Please scroll down..
...
...
. ..
...
...
...
....
...
..
...
...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Tell this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.
Animal Running on Water
Have you ever seen an animal running on water??
It requires a speed of 85 k.m.p.h. with a foot placing of
1 inch towalk
on water.
So what ??
See the photograph!!
It requires a speed of 85 k.m.p.h. with a foot placing of
1 inch towalk
on water.
So what ??
See the photograph!!
Dirty mind & high expectation
It was professor smith's first day at St. Johns medical college as a faculty. Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of 1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class. He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me ask you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said, "Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original size when excited?"
Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female. I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could satisfy his query.
This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye".
The professor applauded for the boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said: "look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) you have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!!!!(10 times....... ...huh... ...MY GOD!!)
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class. He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me ask you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said, "Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original size when excited?"
Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female. I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could satisfy his query.
This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye".
The professor applauded for the boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said: "look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) you have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!!!!(10 times....... ...huh... ...MY GOD!!)
Night courses
During work, John and William were chatting:
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
William: oh!
John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
William: No
John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
William: No
John: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
William: No
John: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, William got irritated and said: "And you, do you know who is George Hunt?"
John: No
William: He's the guy enjoying with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this...
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
William: oh!
John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
William: No
John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
William: No
John: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
William: No
John: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, William got irritated and said: "And you, do you know who is George Hunt?"
John: No
William: He's the guy enjoying with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this...
Health - Important Notice
* Reduce the amount of TEA you consume
* Do not eat bread which has only JUST been toasted Keep your distance
from hand phone CHARGERS Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night
* Do not drink coffee TWICE a day Reduce the amount of OILY food you
consume Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning
* Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm Do not take alcohol more than one
glass/cup/serving a day Do not take pills with COOL water
* Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping Getting LESS
than 8 hours of sleep affects your health People used to napping will
not get old easily
* When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not
answer the phone The radiation is 1000 times Answer the phone by LEFT
ear It'll spoil your brain directly by using right ear Do not use
headphones/earphone for LONG period of time Rest your ear awhile after
1 hour
Tell this to friends whom you CARE about
* Do not eat bread which has only JUST been toasted Keep your distance
from hand phone CHARGERS Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night
* Do not drink coffee TWICE a day Reduce the amount of OILY food you
consume Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning
* Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm Do not take alcohol more than one
glass/cup/serving a day Do not take pills with COOL water
* Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping Getting LESS
than 8 hours of sleep affects your health People used to napping will
not get old easily
* When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not
answer the phone The radiation is 1000 times Answer the phone by LEFT
ear It'll spoil your brain directly by using right ear Do not use
headphones/earphone for LONG period of time Rest your ear awhile after
1 hour
Tell this to friends whom you CARE about
Beware of Lying to a Woman
A man called home to his wife and said, " HoneyI have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends .
We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up"
" Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. "
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?
He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?"
You'll love the answer...
The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box ..."
We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up"
" Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. "
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?
He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?"
You'll love the answer...
The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box ..."
Beware of Lying to a Woman!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
